Snow and sledding

November was a month of assessments, and Lidia came out with very high marks! Her expressive speech is delayed, but just slightly, and her receptive speech is almost perfect. These scores do not take into consideration that English is her second language, so we were quite proud of our above-average child. Our visit to the occupational therapist was great fun. Lidia threw herself onto the floormats with gusto, and loved going up and down the little staircase that has no purpose other than to go and back down again. The therapist showed us how to use a giant exercise ball to practice balancing skills. We have one at home now, thanks to the Kaechs, and it is a favorite activity.

The first day of December announced itself quite clearly in a very white and wonderful way....with snow! After bundling up our little pumpkin, we set her in the sled and walked around a few nice flat blocks. Later we found a short slope and set her loose. Such happiness! The snow all but disappeared by the following day, and now we are back to rain, rain, rain.

Cuteness is a Ladybug

Lidia is all full of cuteness. She laughs and giggles; she puts her doll to bed and feeds her bear in the high chair; she rolls on the floor and flops onto her oversized pillow (from the aunties); she helps mama do chores like sweeping and folding laundry; she stirs the batter with her apron on. Today we tried on her costume with all the trimmings and we strolled around the block showing off her cuteness. As you can see, she was having fun.

Papa's First Snuggle

We have spent four days of bonding with Lidia in Vladivostok. She sleeps like, well, a baby. We’re telling you, getting a kid pre-trained in Russia has its benefits. You put her down for a nap or the night, and tired or not, she will lie there and not complain. Usually she falls asleep pretty quickly,but one afternoon she apparently was not tired and just lay still, playing with her floppy elephant rattle for almost 2 hours. Is this real? Will this last?

Our daily routine has consisted of staying in the hotel until Lidia is up from her afternoon nap and then putting her in the stroller for an outing until just before bedtime. She spends her mornings practicing her newfound skill of walking in the hotel hallways and on the stairs with Mama, as well as playing with stuff. Her favorite pastime is playing “take all the stuff out of something, and then put it all back in”. And she likes her book full of babyfaces.

We don’t know if this is the honeymoon period or what, but she is an amazingly easy baby. She smiles and laughs all the time now, and her tantrums are actually quiet and very short-lived. She rolls on the floor and kicks her feet, until we figure out what it is she wants or doesn’t want. Her communication style should improve once she has some words to use.

Lidia has been very attached to Carina since we’ve had her with us. We have been working on getting her more comfortable with Victor. Today was a huge milestone. He was able to hold her, and she snuggled in his arms after her bath for a good half hour. After 5 days of waiting, it was Papa’s first snuggle! He beamed.

Gotcha

We went through an intense court proceeding thismorning, but were overjoyed when the judge ruled in favor of our adoption and in favor of waiving theten-day waiting period. We picked Lidia up around 3pm, and she has been an angel ever since.

She snuggled in Carina’s arms all the way home (45 minute drive), has been enjoying rolling a ball,looking at books, and stacking cups since arriving “home.” Oh yes, and eating. We got her daily menu from the orphanage so we could try to match it as much as possible for now. She ate like a little bird, mouth wide-open waiting for the next bite. She disliked her bath after dinner, but enjoyed snuggling with Mama for a long while afterwards. Tomorrow afternoon will involve a bit of running around after documents. Then, we just wait until the courier returns from Moscow with a visa for entry into the U.S. For now, it is early bedtime with Little Precious. Good Night.

The Day Before Gotcha Day

It is Wednesday evening, close to 11pm. All the windows are open. The air is thick and muggy, and we are sweating in spite of a shower only an hour ago. The sounds of techno-dance-pop float into our room from the all-night disco barge located at the grungy beach, directly down the hill from our hotel.

Tomorrow may be "Gotcha Day!" (This is celebrated in addition to birthdays for adopted children.) This afternoon we ran through what to expect at the court proceedings tomorrow with our agency lady, and then rehearsed our answers after dinner. We must know her medical record summary by heart to convince the judge that we are aware of her issues. We have a list of arguments to convince the judge to waive the ten-day wait period and allow the adoption to go into effect immediately. Our agency rep has been talking to the judge. Our rep says that the judge is aware of our case, and the judge’s opinion of whether to grant the waiver has flip flopped from a supportive stance to a concern that we are not fully aware of what we are getting ourselves into. Well, the judge may be right in that latter analysis, but we are still prepared to barrage her with reasons why we should get Lidia sooner than later.


We had expected our luggage to come this evening. We returned to the hotel at 9pm, and asked about it at the front desk. "No," they answered, they hadn’t seen any luggage arrive. Victor persisted and asked the receptionist to question the security guard who has the key to the storage closet. Somewhat reluctantly, she spoke to him and then reported to us that he hadn’t seen any luggage arrive either. We asked the receptionist to phone Korean Air for us, but she appeared bewildered by the request, and just plain uninterested. We gave up, and headed for our room. Then Victor realized that the security guards changed shifts in the past few hours, and he decided to approach the security guard personally. He asked the guard to open the closet for our inspection. The guard agreed, and lo and behold, there was our stuff! Our luggage had arrived! No one at the hotel really cared except us, but we were pretty darn happy to see our bags. Just in time to have clean clothes for us to go to court in as well as diapers, formula, baby clothes, medicines, toys and books for Lidia. We must bring her a set of clothes when we pick her up because she will be handed over to us in the same condition she was in on the day she was born.


This morning’s visit was perhaps the hardest yet. Lidia cried inconsolably for the first 30 minutes. She cried a lot harder than she has previously, and her tears were accompanied by kicking feet and an arched back. She did calm down finally, and when we took her outside she did great!


She is walking much better than she did 3 months ago, only needing a hand to hold to feel confident. At the end of our time one of her caregivers showed up. Lidia was walking with Victor at the time. She led him straight over to the caregiver. When Lidia got within range, she let go of Victor’s hand altogether and went directly to this woman. After that moment she wanted nothing to do with us anymore. This is a great sign. She is well "attached" to her caregivers and prefers them above strangers (like us). Our adoption books tell us that a well-attached child will attach well again when moved to a new home. We fully expect that Elena will experience trauma of losing her "home" and grieve the loss of those who’ve cared for her during her entire life. We don’t know how long the trauma will last, but if she is like other children, it will take a few weeks, or even months.

It is off to bed for us. Tomorrow is a big day.

Tuesday's Visit

We had a wonderful visit with Lidia today. She only cried for the first 20 minutes. We took her for a photo shoot for her new passport after she warmed up to us. As to the bags, we heard from Korean Air that they were located and will arrive to our hotel tomorrow night. Hallelujah! Just in time for bringing Lidia back to the hotel the next day. It is hot and muggy here. Yuck. We bought a few clothing items so we could wash our sticky and stinky clothes.

We arrived!

It is 2am, the wee hours of Monday morning, Bellingham time. It is 8pm here in Vladivostok, also Monday. We are tired! Nevertheless, Victor wants to wait until dark to sleep, so we are writing.

We arrived to our hotel in Vladivostok 2 hours ago, after four flights and 30 hours of traveling. We flew United Airlines to Portland and Alaska Air to LAX, and then Korean Air from there. As we arrived to Los Angeles around midnight we met our first obstacle. The pilot couldn’t find a place to park! Not even yellow curbs for loading/unloading; not a single fire hydrant. Double parking came to mind. Victor briefly thought of opening the emergency door by puling in and and up and then carefully throwing it outside the distressed aircraft and then sliding down that nifty inflatable wing slide raft thing that’s supposed to deploy in the event of a water landing. “That would be cool”, thought Victor. Imagine not being able to find a spot to park a plane at Los Angeles International Airport. The pilot assured us we were lucky. Other planes had waited 4 to 6 hours to park that day. We only waited one hour. Apparently there had been some sort of huge immigration upset earlier in the day that was delaying everything. So we scooted and skulked around waiting and trying not to get in anyone’s way.

Once we got out, we had to leave the terminal we were in and find the international terminal. This meant going through security all over again. We spent 30 minutes in the security TSA line, only to have the entire security system shut down. They kicked us all out of the luggage scanner area at 1 am, and we sat around the international terminal with a few thousand people not knowing what was happening, or whether we’d get on a plane that night at all. The international terminal was full of internationals trying not to feel terminal. …pause for groan … People were sleeping in all kinds of nooks. It looked like a disaster movie. Fortunately, we discovered two open snack shops on the international terminal’s second floor. They had a Scottish food place (“McDonalds”), and an ice cream/smoothie/coffee place. After 45 people and 45 minutes in the other line, we comforted our weary selves with sorbet and a smoothie. It was about 3 in the morning when the security checkpoint reopened as mysteriously as it had shut down. We discovered that our plane had waited for us all, and we took off at 4am. We were dead tired, but we were just beginning the12 hour flight to Seoul.

We finally arrived to Vladivostok after our 30 hours of travel. Our luggage did not. We don’t know where it is. Last we saw it, it was begin loaded onto our plane in Seattle, so we know it got as far as Portland. Our baby clothes, socks, toys, gift bag full of children’s shoes, our unmentionables (Jockeys and Maidenforms), our spare clothes and toiletries – all of them like sheep without a shepherd had gone astray. Victor’s suspicion is that they are grazing the green pastures near the still waters of LAX’s dispossessed possessions department. Gratefully, all our adoption documents, cash, medications and this computer weren’t checked. Our room does have hot water in the mornings and evenings so we can shower to deal with this muggy August air. But we’ve been in our only set of clothes since Saturday Morning… and that has it’s odorifically increasing consequences… We appreciate your prayers that we be reunited with our baggage soon.

We were given a schedule of events by our adoption agency. Tomorrow morning we get to visit with our daughter for 2 hours. Same on Wednesday. Thursday morning is our court hearing, and if all goes well, we will have Lidia with us by Thursday afternoon, and ever after.

Keeping you informed (and ourselves entertained),
Victor and Carina

The Home Stretch

Jehovah Jirah, our Provider
In our last letter we shared how the Lord had been surprising us with His provision for this adoption. We continue to be astonished. Donations have poured in and total almost $5000. Add to that the $3000 we got from the bank mistake and $2000 from Lidia’s pension, a $1500 grant from Ibsen Adoption, plus an $11,000 tax credit from Uncle Sam, and $16,000 in an inheritance that just came to us this month. That brings us to $38,500. And our expenses equal just about that exact amount. When we began our journey, we had no idea how we’d pay for it. We are humbled and grateful to the Lord for taking care of us.

Kid’s Stuff
I’ve made the discovery that the smaller the person is, the more stuff they need. Thank you to all who have given us things like car seats, toddler beds, clothes, toys, blankets, baby carriers, plastic dinnerware, sippy cups, etc. We purchased some gorgeous Russian child chairs on our last trip, and now the baby room is all decorated now in strawberries, cherries and ladybugs, looking very Russian and cute with reds and blacks.

We’re off!
We are indeed in the Home Stretch. We leave tomorrow, Saturday the 11th, for Russia and will be in court on the 16th to make our adoption official. We hope to be home with Lidia by the 25th of August. We are extremely excited and anxious to begin being a family. Bye for now. We hope to write from Russia and to send photos. See you on the other side of the world.

Victor and Carina

Court Date!

Our court date in Russia is tenatively set for the 16th or 17th of August. The judge who was assigned our case has given a favorable nod toward waiving the mandatory ten-day waiting period, so we should have custody of our daughter on the 17th. Then we will spend a week bonding together in our hotel room, with a very little bit of running around getting final documents taken care of for entry into the United States, like her passport photo and health certificate.

We just purchased plane tickets and will fly out from Seattle on the 11th of August, hopefully returning on the 25th with our little Lidia. (She is affectionally called "Ellie Rue" by Victor.)

Since we will be returning during high travel season, our flights are crazy!

Outbound flight:
Seattle - Portland - Los Angeles - Seoul -Vladivostok
--a full 26 hours in transit

Return flight:
Vladivostok - Seoul - Honolulu - Seattle
-- 22 hours in transit

It should be "fun" to do these flights with our brand new daughter who has barely ever ridden in a car, much less a plane! I especially look forward to changing diapers on board. But the important thing is, SHE IS COMING HOME! YAY! We are very excited.

God--our Provider

- Kozaczuk Adoption Update Letter ---

We recently decided on our little girl’s new name:

Lidia Elena Ruhamah

Yes, it is long…but it is packed with significance.
Lidia: The name of Victor’s mother In the New Testament this is the name of a woman converted to Christianity. (Acts 16)
Elena: The name given to her by her birth mother Greek: Bright, Shining One
Ruhamah: The name of Carina’s great-grandmother In the Old Testament book of Hosea, God shows compassion on Israel and renames Hosea’s daughter from “Lo-Ruhamah” (you are not loved) to “Ruhamah” (you are loved); in Hebrew: love deeply, have mercy, be compassionate, have tender affection.

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Many people who have seen her photo say the same two things…
1. She looks like Victor. (This explains her irresistible charm.)
2. She is a very fortunate girl.
As much as we are convinced that WE are extremely blessed to be adopting her, we have to agree that she is fortunate as well. We are thankful she currently has excellent and loving caregivers, but being placed in a family is 1,000% better for any child. They simply cannot give her the individual attention she deserves. From what we have read, kids in orphanages lose 1 month of development for every 3 months they spend there. This explains why at 2 years old she cannot yet walk nor talk much, and only weighs 22 lbs. Studies do show an amazing catch-up rate once children are adopted, and we are looking forward to seeing this happen. Aside from the irreplaceable gift of parental love, our Russian friends have told us that living with a disability will be easier for her in the United States than in her native land. Yes, she is one of the fortunate ones.

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Financing our adoption has been an adventure in faith
You may know that an international adoption is an expensive ordeal. Ours will cost more than $35,000. We made a lot of phone calls before choosing our agency and found the costs to be the about same across the board. Aside from the agency fees of over $20,000, we must pay for immigration paperwork, doctor consultations, flights, hotels and food. And Russia is an expensive travel option. Economy hotels in Vladivostok start at over $100 per night, and we are not staying only one night! Plus time off work, etc. etc.

But these numbers are not huge for our Lord who owns the universe. Read on to see how the Lord has surprised us so far with His riches to meet our needs.

Cool story #1
On our final visit to the orphanage, the social worker asked us if we were prepared to sign acceptance papers for Lidia. “Yes,” we told her. She asked a second time. “Yes, we will adopt her,” we assured her again. Once she was convinced that we were earnest in our desire to take Lidia home, she told us the big secret. Lidia has a pension! About 18 months ago the Russia government began providing monthly pensions to disabled orphans. Lidia receives about $100 every month. The money goes to a bank account which she can access when she turns 18…or when she is adopted. Right now she has over $2000 in the bank!

Cool story#2
Our church friends threw us a fund-raiser shower recently in which the guests brought gifts of money to help us with the adoption expenses. It was a wonderful event, and donations came to over $300. Two days later we received a letter in the mail from a bank. It was one of those thin envelopes that look like junk mail, but it wasn’t junk mail. It contained a check for $3000! Some folks at the bank forgot to disclose some of the closing costs to us on the lot we purchased over a year ago, so by law they must refund the money! Isn’t that crazy? No, we think it is God. He multiplied the work of the church tenfold. It is easy for Him, just like He did with the fish and loaves.

Cool story #3
The church we currently attend was my home church during college days, and many of my friends from that era still attend. That is why we chose Hillcrest Chapel. We didn’t choose it because of all the adoptive families who attend, or because it has an adoption support group. That has been a wonderful surprise bonus. Every year our church holds a craft-fair to help generate funds for adoptive families. The church has decided to give us some of this money. We don’t know the amount yet, but it should be between $2000 and $3500.

God has many fountains…
We are also applying for grants. Ibsen Adoption Network received our application last week. They give gifts of $1000-$2000 to families who adopt disabled children. There are also several other organizations out there which help adoptive families. Because of the great need, all of them have very specific criteria for who they will give money to. We have found two more that appear to fit our story, so we will keep filling out applications.

A dear friend of ours has a Pampered Chef business, and has offered to use her business to support our cause. She has set up a website for us, so that sales can be done online. We have included the information she put on her website (see below) so you can participate in this fundraiser if you like.

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Thank you so much for your support!
It has been a blessed experience to share our adoption process with all of you. We truly felt your prayers in Russia. The decision-making stage was very difficult, but we felt cared for and supported every step of the way. Now our needs are different because we are no longer making a decision, we are preparing for a baby! In this new stage, we have again been very blessed by so many of you who have helped us in very concrete ways. Showers, collections of hand-me-downs, and fundraisers are all happening on our behalf. Our small apartment is getting smaller as we add toys and toddler furniture. We are so grateful to the Lord for His goodness to us, and for His gift of your friendship. We beieve that with God there are sure to be many more cool stories to come. Have a wonderful Fourth of July.
In His Love, Victor and Carina

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KOZACZUK FAMILY ADOPTION FUND-RAISER

The Pampered Chef web site – a party in the comfort of your own home!
Orders can be submitted from Sun, July 1, 2007 - Sat, Jul 28, 2007

In anticipation of the arrival Victor and Carina's adopted child, you can help "bring her home" and provide for some of her needs by making your Pampered Chef purchases here.
As you peruse the on-line catalog, consider up-coming gift-giving opportunities (showers, weddings, birthdays, housewarmings, business gifts, Christmas, etc.) as well as selections for stocking your own kitchen. As a special "thank you" for product orders of $60 or more, you will receive the Barbecue Basting Bottle ($14 value) for FREE from The Pampered Chef. PLEASE NOTE: the June Monthly Special will be in effect through the close of this event. July specials will NOT apply even though orders may be placed until July 28.

Based on total product sales, The Pampered Chef will make a 10-15% contribution to the Hillcrest Adoption Fund on behalf of the Kozaczuk family. As a personal friend, I will also donate a portion of my commission from this Fund-Raiser 'Show' toward the family fund.
If you live outside Whatcom County, Washington, please select the 'direct shipping' option. Your order will be delivered directly to your desired shipping address via FedEx. You may also direct-ship a gift to anywhere in the U.S. and territories.

Orders within Whatcom County may choose direct delivery or use the "show" rate of $4.00 per order. I will contact you when your order arrives at my home.
Please understand that all orders will be placed as a group after the Fund-Raiser closes on July 28. Your order should arrive by or before August 15. To those who order early . . . thank you for your patience!

THANK YOU for participating in this effort to bless Victor and Carina and their long-awaited child.TO PLACE AN ORDER, please go to www.pamperedchef.biz/LisaLamphere and type 'adoption' in the show search box
You can also try clicking here: http://www.pamperedchef.biz/lisalamphere?page=host-search-results&showId=1201416
Order by July 28 to bless the Kozaczuk family and get some really great Kitchen Tools too!

Hi everyone. Here is our final letter from Vladivostok…

The big news is that we will bring Elena home with us when we return from our 2nd trip to Russia in August! We are excited about starting our new family with her.

The first three days were emotionally grueling, but we now feel great peace. We have gotten past the difficult decision-making, and have put the sadness and disappointment behind us of turning down two separate referrals to adopt a brother for Elena. It is hard to be disappointed when we feel so happy to be adopting our little precious daughter!

Since making our decision, we have had a lot of fun. We get to visit Elena in the mornings and have been exploring the city, and making a crazy, goof-off video of our trip, in the afternoons. All very therapeutic.

Yesterday we got caught in a rainstorm so we ducked into a restaurant for dinner. It was one of those buffet style places, sort of like a Panda Express but Russian. (The Siberian Tiger Express??) When we reached the cash register to pay, with a line of hungry Russians behind us, Victor realized we were low on rubles. The bill came to 250 rubles (about $10) and we had only 220 rubles (about $9) left of our exchanged money. Uh-oh. In Victor’s stress, he began pulling things out of his various pockets in search of some money. The first thing to come out was a US $100 bill and a few US $20s. The nice lady at the cash register looked at the bills in some disbelief and then declined the money. The next thing to come out was his passport and Russian visa documents, but most unfortunately they didn’t stay in his rather nervous hand, but instead flew across the room. After he recovered them, he offered a credit card. Apparently they do not accept credit cards there because the answer was again, “nyet!” We nervously began unloading our food off the trays, and the manager had to come to the register so the items could be deleted from the bill one by one. Meanwhile, the line of people behind us was growing and growing. We were painfully aware of the situation, and Victor’s face began to turn to the color of a nice bowl of borshch (Ukrainian soup made with beets). We were about to make a dash for the door and leave the trays behind when a very compassionate security guard came out from behind the counter. He asked us how much we had to pay, and then he handed us 30 Rubles of his own money! We were extremely grateful that he took pity on the oversized American man with the big money and flying passport. Victor wanted to repay him using some US dollars. As I watched him pull out his wad again, I could see that he was still flustered and unaware of the dollar equivalent of what the man had given to us. I feared he was going to give him the $100 bill in repayment for the $1. I think the security guard had the same fear because he said, “Nyet! Nyet! Nyet!” Then Victor remembered that he had some smaller bills in a different wallet, and so he was able to give him a $5 bill in gratitude for his kindness to us. The man still protested, but eventually took the money, probably trying to preserve any scrap of dignity we had left. We sat down at the table furthest from the register, and Victor ate his meal in silence. He is now feeling much better about the fiasco and is helping me to write this story.

Yesterday’s visit with Elena involved rolling a ball back and forth with papa, swinging with mama on the swing set, practicing her walks from mama to papa which she enjoys immensely, and putting a string of beads into one cup and then into another, back and forth. Still a bit of wimpering at first, but she enjoyed herself most of the time, and cried when we took her back to the area she spends her days in. We left her caregivers with the toys we had brought with us, and they were grateful. These toys will be for all the children. Elena’s main therapist told us how happy she was that we will be adopting Elena and assured us that we would never regret the decision. Like many of the caregivers we have spoken with, she is especially fond of Elena and is relieved to see that she will go to a good home.

We went from there to buy three jumbo packs of diapers for Elena. We returned to her orphanage and brought them to her caregivers. This is a tradition for adoptive families…I guess we are providing for her in our absence in this small way. I tried to catch the great “Passing Off of the Diapers Ritual” on videotape. Victor carried the diapers ahead of me, and I videotaped the entry and the stairwell on the way up. A nice lady came around the corner as I videotaped and said something to me, which I didn’t understand. I told her “I don’t speak Russian” which is one of the few things I can say. She mumbled some more and I caught the words “not beautiful” as she gestured toward the stairwell. Why would anyone want to videotape an ugly stairwell—and this one is ugly! When I reached Elena’s room, I was too late to catch any of the great moment on tape. Victor had managed to unceremoniously hand the Sacred Diaper Offering to the caregiver without me. He found all my efforts quite amusing.

Today was our last visit with our precious little one before returning to Bellingham. We visited a notary in the afternoon to sign the acceptance paperwork. This will begin a process of paperwork in Russia that will lead to a court date for us in August. We will stay in Russia from 2-4 weeks on our next trip, taking care of court proceedings, getting Elena a passport, and visa, and getting to know our little daughter better.

Again, many thanks to all of you for your heart felt support and your prayers. The emails we have received during this time have meant a whole lot to us and have often brought us to tears.

Many blessings,

Carina and Victor

Vladivostok, Russia

Hello again,

We have received several emails in response to our adoption journey and appreciate our community of friends and family so much at this time. Each letter of support and encouragement has brought tears to my eyes. I felt a need to clarify something that I realize some of you had not known before. When we began this journey, both Victor and I felt we would be open to adopting a child with a physical disability. We put that in our home study. We were not surprised to find that our first referral was indeed a child with a limb deficiency.

We have been disappointed in the other referrals, but not so in the case of Elena. She actually exceeds our expectations in many ways.

No adoption begins with a pleasant story. A child is available for adoption only after tragedy, sickness, poverty, substance abuse or some other negative issue impacts the mother. When the social worker told us of her family background, we were very moved and felt a certain working of God's hand in her life. We are told her family is quite poor, but they absolutely do not abuse alcohol nor other substances, and they had a certain dignity about them that commanded respect. They were reluctant to place her for adoption, and continue to ask the social worker if she will get adopted.

We have not made our final decision yet because we are still waiting for another medical report, but if we choose to adopt her, we are quite sure we will be getting a wonderful daughter.

Blessings, Carina

The long awaited adoption update!

Hello again,

We have had three very long and very emotional days.

On Monday we went to the ministry of education and were handed two files. The first file was for a little girl named “Elena”. She turned 2 in April. We met her at the orphanage about an hour later. They brought her to an office she had not been in before.

She was very shy, and wimpered-cried at being near people she had not met and being in a new environment. But her caretaker was wonderfully loving, and it was obvious she felt safe with that person. This seemed like very healthy behavior, and we were glad to see it, even though it meant she did not warm up to us right way. Her doctor was there and we discussed her health at length. After an hour, I slowly came closer to her and began interacting with her. Eventually she sat in my lap without a problem. She has not seen very many men in her lifetime, so she did not warm up to Victor at all on day one.

This little girl was born with a disability. She is missing her left arm as well as a pinky and thumb on her right hand. Her cognitive skills seem very good to us, and the Russian doctors assured us she is doing well both mentally and emotionally. She is behind in many things, but mostly due to the challenges of living with only one arm. For instance, she has not yet learned to walk on her own, but balance is especially difficult for her. She grabs things around her to help her walk. She is quite adept at manipulating objects with her three fingers. And she is adorable.

Our initial reaction to her was very positive and it continues to be so. On day two we (Victor, the translator, and I) were left alone with her in the office. She cried a lot at first, but quieted down after 5 minutes or so. I kept her in my lap. Victor hid from her because he was scary to her. After an hour, he was able to begin offering her toys to play with, and at the end of our two hours, he was able to hold her in his arms. Today, Wednesday, she cried only for the initial moment of being passed off to us, then she was quiet and content. She was comfortable with either of us. We took her outside and she stood with assistance, and found it great fun to try to walk short distances from Victor to me by grabbing onto one of our hands. She has not yet learned to stand up without grabbing something for support or to walk without help. It was great to see her smile and even laugh a few times today.

We are feeling very positive about adopting her, and just heard back from the Adoption Medicine folks at the University of Washington who are specialists in Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. They have given an initially good report of her health and growth. They have confirmed that she does not show any signs of alcohol abuse during pregnancy, and they have asked for a specialist’s 2nd opinion regarding her limb deficiencies, which we are waiting for. The doctor has seen several children with limb deficiencies do quite well. He felt she would be able to do many things and live an independent adult life in spite of her deficiency. We will make a decision by Friday, but we are feeling 90% that we will be bringing her home this coming August or September.

The second file we were handed was for a boy of 19 months. We read the file at the ministry of education, and I immediately sensed a “no” in my spirit. The file said he required special attention. We went to meet him in the afternoon, and saw that he had all the symptoms and facial characteristics of fetal alcohol syndrome. He played with toys, but did not interact with us much. He showed little emotion—delight or fear,and had a disturbing tendency to throw himself backwards on the ground. We especially felt concerned about adopting such a boy along with Elena, who will have special needs of her own. So we asked for a new referral. They actually require you to sign a denial of the referral. This was not easy, and we were emotionally drained by the end of Monday.

Yesterday we were given a new referral for a little boy. He was born on Christmas of 2004. We met him, and liked him. He seems to be sweet, playful, and obedient. He was initially shy with us, but warmed up…especially to Victor. He seemed like a good candidate for an older brother to the little girl. He does not appear to have the facial characteristics nor behavior issues associated with fetal alcohol syndrome. However, we sent his medical information and several photos to the UW doctors. We were extremely disappointed to learn that he is actually in a high risk category for FAS, as well as other risks due to his mother’s health and the care he has received. There is a great risk that he would be a difficult child to raise with both mental and behavorial issues due to the accumlution of several risk factors. Again, we had to consider Elena’s well being in addition to our own. It was very, very difficult to deny this referral today as well.

At the time of the second referral, the ministry of education told us that this boy was the only one left available in the entire region without severe medical issues. We find this hard to believe since we have now been to three separate orphanages, and all of them seem to have several happy little children who do not have noticeable problems. Supposedly most of these children are not available for adoption; perhaps their families have placed them there temporarily. Perhaps they have already been referred to other adoptive families, either Russian or American. We don’t know. We have also been told by several social workers that 99.9% of children available for adoption are there due to the mother’s alcohol abuse. In spite of these things, we have been offered to return to the ministry for another try, but we don’t feel emotionally able to go through this again, so we have decided not to pursue a 2nd child at this time.

Before leaving for Russia, I had a long phone conversation with the doctors at the U of W, and they encouraged us to consider adopting only one child. We had never considered just one before, but they informed us that the success rates for happy adoptions are much better when unrelated children are adopted one at a time. Even so, it is sad for us to accept this as a reality for the time being, and even sadder for us to consider the possible future lives of these boys who we have chosen not to adopt.

As you can see, the days here have been long and draining. A lot of emotion and prayer, coupled with long drives. One of the orphanages is two hours away, and another is 1.5 hours. Thankfully, Elena’s orphanage is here in Vladivostok. We have been very thankful to the Lord for giving us unity of heart with the decisions we are making, and we feel His presence with us. We also feel your prayers and support tremendously.

Even though this process has been difficult, we are very excited about adopting Elena. We feel extremely fortunate to have been referred such a child as she is. We loved hearing her laugh and giggle, and seeing her attempts at walking and her fascination with transferring pine cones from one coffee can to another.

Blessings, Victor and Carina