Hi everyone. Here is our final letter from Vladivostok…
The big news is that we will bring Elena home with us when we return from our 2nd trip to Russia in August! We are excited about starting our new family with her.
The first three days were emotionally grueling, but we now feel great peace. We have gotten past the difficult decision-making, and have put the sadness and disappointment behind us of turning down two separate referrals to adopt a brother for Elena. It is hard to be disappointed when we feel so happy to be adopting our little precious daughter!
Since making our decision, we have had a lot of fun. We get to visit Elena in the mornings and have been exploring the city, and making a crazy, goof-off video of our trip, in the afternoons. All very therapeutic.
Yesterday we got caught in a rainstorm so we ducked into a restaurant for dinner. It was one of those buffet style places, sort of like a Panda Express but Russian. (The Siberian Tiger Express??) When we reached the cash register to pay, with a line of hungry Russians behind us, Victor realized we were low on rubles. The bill came to 250 rubles (about $10) and we had only 220 rubles (about $9) left of our exchanged money. Uh-oh. In Victor’s stress, he began pulling things out of his various pockets in search of some money. The first thing to come out was a US $100 bill and a few US $20s. The nice lady at the cash register looked at the bills in some disbelief and then declined the money. The next thing to come out was his passport and Russian visa documents, but most unfortunately they didn’t stay in his rather nervous hand, but instead flew across the room. After he recovered them, he offered a credit card. Apparently they do not accept credit cards there because the answer was again, “nyet!” We nervously began unloading our food off the trays, and the manager had to come to the register so the items could be deleted from the bill one by one. Meanwhile, the line of people behind us was growing and growing. We were painfully aware of the situation, and Victor’s face began to turn to the color of a nice bowl of borshch (Ukrainian soup made with beets). We were about to make a dash for the door and leave the trays behind when a very compassionate security guard came out from behind the counter. He asked us how much we had to pay, and then he handed us 30 Rubles of his own money! We were extremely grateful that he took pity on the oversized American man with the big money and flying passport. Victor wanted to repay him using some US dollars. As I watched him pull out his wad again, I could see that he was still flustered and unaware of the dollar equivalent of what the man had given to us. I feared he was going to give him the $100 bill in repayment for the $1. I think the security guard had the same fear because he said, “Nyet! Nyet! Nyet!” Then Victor remembered that he had some smaller bills in a different wallet, and so he was able to give him a $5 bill in gratitude for his kindness to us. The man still protested, but eventually took the money, probably trying to preserve any scrap of dignity we had left. We sat down at the table furthest from the register, and Victor ate his meal in silence. He is now feeling much better about the fiasco and is helping me to write this story.
Yesterday’s visit with Elena involved rolling a ball back and forth with papa, swinging with mama on the swing set, practicing her walks from mama to papa which she enjoys immensely, and putting a string of beads into one cup and then into another, back and forth. Still a bit of wimpering at first, but she enjoyed herself most of the time, and cried when we took her back to the area she spends her days in. We left her caregivers with the toys we had brought with us, and they were grateful. These toys will be for all the children. Elena’s main therapist told us how happy she was that we will be adopting Elena and assured us that we would never regret the decision. Like many of the caregivers we have spoken with, she is especially fond of Elena and is relieved to see that she will go to a good home.
We went from there to buy three jumbo packs of diapers for Elena. We returned to her orphanage and brought them to her caregivers. This is a tradition for adoptive families…I guess we are providing for her in our absence in this small way. I tried to catch the great “Passing Off of the Diapers Ritual” on videotape. Victor carried the diapers ahead of me, and I videotaped the entry and the stairwell on the way up. A nice lady came around the corner as I videotaped and said something to me, which I didn’t understand. I told her “I don’t speak Russian” which is one of the few things I can say. She mumbled some more and I caught the words “not beautiful” as she gestured toward the stairwell. Why would anyone want to videotape an ugly stairwell—and this one is ugly! When I reached Elena’s room, I was too late to catch any of the great moment on tape. Victor had managed to unceremoniously hand the Sacred Diaper Offering to the caregiver without me. He found all my efforts quite amusing.
Today was our last visit with our precious little one before returning to Bellingham. We visited a notary in the afternoon to sign the acceptance paperwork. This will begin a process of paperwork in Russia that will lead to a court date for us in August. We will stay in Russia from 2-4 weeks on our next trip, taking care of court proceedings, getting Elena a passport, and visa, and getting to know our little daughter better.
Again, many thanks to all of you for your heart felt support and your prayers. The emails we have received during this time have meant a whole lot to us and have often brought us to tears.
Many blessings,
Carina and Victor
The big news is that we will bring Elena home with us when we return from our 2nd trip to Russia in August! We are excited about starting our new family with her.
The first three days were emotionally grueling, but we now feel great peace. We have gotten past the difficult decision-making, and have put the sadness and disappointment behind us of turning down two separate referrals to adopt a brother for Elena. It is hard to be disappointed when we feel so happy to be adopting our little precious daughter!
Since making our decision, we have had a lot of fun. We get to visit Elena in the mornings and have been exploring the city, and making a crazy, goof-off video of our trip, in the afternoons. All very therapeutic.
Yesterday we got caught in a rainstorm so we ducked into a restaurant for dinner. It was one of those buffet style places, sort of like a Panda Express but Russian. (The Siberian Tiger Express??) When we reached the cash register to pay, with a line of hungry Russians behind us, Victor realized we were low on rubles. The bill came to 250 rubles (about $10) and we had only 220 rubles (about $9) left of our exchanged money. Uh-oh. In Victor’s stress, he began pulling things out of his various pockets in search of some money. The first thing to come out was a US $100 bill and a few US $20s. The nice lady at the cash register looked at the bills in some disbelief and then declined the money. The next thing to come out was his passport and Russian visa documents, but most unfortunately they didn’t stay in his rather nervous hand, but instead flew across the room. After he recovered them, he offered a credit card. Apparently they do not accept credit cards there because the answer was again, “nyet!” We nervously began unloading our food off the trays, and the manager had to come to the register so the items could be deleted from the bill one by one. Meanwhile, the line of people behind us was growing and growing. We were painfully aware of the situation, and Victor’s face began to turn to the color of a nice bowl of borshch (Ukrainian soup made with beets). We were about to make a dash for the door and leave the trays behind when a very compassionate security guard came out from behind the counter. He asked us how much we had to pay, and then he handed us 30 Rubles of his own money! We were extremely grateful that he took pity on the oversized American man with the big money and flying passport. Victor wanted to repay him using some US dollars. As I watched him pull out his wad again, I could see that he was still flustered and unaware of the dollar equivalent of what the man had given to us. I feared he was going to give him the $100 bill in repayment for the $1. I think the security guard had the same fear because he said, “Nyet! Nyet! Nyet!” Then Victor remembered that he had some smaller bills in a different wallet, and so he was able to give him a $5 bill in gratitude for his kindness to us. The man still protested, but eventually took the money, probably trying to preserve any scrap of dignity we had left. We sat down at the table furthest from the register, and Victor ate his meal in silence. He is now feeling much better about the fiasco and is helping me to write this story.
Yesterday’s visit with Elena involved rolling a ball back and forth with papa, swinging with mama on the swing set, practicing her walks from mama to papa which she enjoys immensely, and putting a string of beads into one cup and then into another, back and forth. Still a bit of wimpering at first, but she enjoyed herself most of the time, and cried when we took her back to the area she spends her days in. We left her caregivers with the toys we had brought with us, and they were grateful. These toys will be for all the children. Elena’s main therapist told us how happy she was that we will be adopting Elena and assured us that we would never regret the decision. Like many of the caregivers we have spoken with, she is especially fond of Elena and is relieved to see that she will go to a good home.
We went from there to buy three jumbo packs of diapers for Elena. We returned to her orphanage and brought them to her caregivers. This is a tradition for adoptive families…I guess we are providing for her in our absence in this small way. I tried to catch the great “Passing Off of the Diapers Ritual” on videotape. Victor carried the diapers ahead of me, and I videotaped the entry and the stairwell on the way up. A nice lady came around the corner as I videotaped and said something to me, which I didn’t understand. I told her “I don’t speak Russian” which is one of the few things I can say. She mumbled some more and I caught the words “not beautiful” as she gestured toward the stairwell. Why would anyone want to videotape an ugly stairwell—and this one is ugly! When I reached Elena’s room, I was too late to catch any of the great moment on tape. Victor had managed to unceremoniously hand the Sacred Diaper Offering to the caregiver without me. He found all my efforts quite amusing.
Today was our last visit with our precious little one before returning to Bellingham. We visited a notary in the afternoon to sign the acceptance paperwork. This will begin a process of paperwork in Russia that will lead to a court date for us in August. We will stay in Russia from 2-4 weeks on our next trip, taking care of court proceedings, getting Elena a passport, and visa, and getting to know our little daughter better.
Again, many thanks to all of you for your heart felt support and your prayers. The emails we have received during this time have meant a whole lot to us and have often brought us to tears.
Many blessings,
Carina and Victor
