December 18, 2009 Leaving Zhengzhou

Thank you so much for the wonderful outpouring of emails we’ve received since our last post. It means so much to have each of you reading along, praying for us, involved. We have no doubt that your prayers have been effective because Sam Sam continues to be easy and well adjusted.

A special thanks goes out to Laura S. for suggesting that we purchase the Ergo Baby Carrier. It is awesome, and Sam Sam loves it. No doubt you all remember that Sam Sam was born without his left foot. Now that we are with him, we have a better understanding of his disability….or should we say his ability. There is really not too much “dis” about it. His left leg seems to be a bit shorter, maybe an inch, and he has an ankle and a heel. He can support himself well on his left “foot;” he can walk, and even run. His walk is not smooth, but what he lacks for in finesse he makes up for in enthusiasm.

He arrived to us with a pair of sneakers on. His left foot does not really hold a shoe well, plus there is the height difference, so someone created a little device to solve these problems. It is a platform for the shoe, and then it ties onto his leg. When we first met him he was wearing it, and he was playing away. We didn’t think to ask about how well it worked. As soon as we were on our own with him, the shoe fell off his foot, and it has refused to stay on ever since. Hence, the need for a baby carrier. One cannot walk around outside in socks in the dead of winter. Shoes are required.

We decided to buy some boots for him, reasoning that there would be more grip around the shins. We went to Walmart. (Yes, they are here too, along with KFC, McDs, Pizza Hut, Home Depot and even Century 21.) Even in the dead of winter, the Walmart had a pathetic choice of 4 children’s boots with no boy ones in his size. We ended up buying some girlie boots with pretty butterflies on them. We figure it just continues his tradition of cross dressing. In his first photo we received he wore a pink sweater, and the second one he sported a very cute pony tail.

Well the boot shopping was not a happy experience for him. It set him off into an angry fit. This was the first time we saw some anger and tears. (Hmm, maybe he really does not like cross dressing.) Carina put him back into the Ergo carrier and tried to distract him by showing him all the cute things in the store.

“Look, there are soft and fuzzy bears!” She pointed out in English.

“I HATE soft and fuzzy bears!” He replied in Chinese. Carina understood his Chinese perfectly because the words were accompanied by throwing the bear down forcefully.
“Look, here are some remote control cars.” Thankfully, these were attached securely to the shelf.
“I have never liked cars in my life!” After several unsuccessful attempts to calm him, Carina remembered that he had not peed in a couple of hours.

“Nee-ow, nee-ow?” She asked him.

“No! I don’t want to pee! I hate peeing! I have never peed in my life! Don’t ask me again to go pee!”

We had been warned that children react to the abrupt changes with wildly changing behaviors, so as much as we felt bad for our little guy, we were not overly worried. We surmised that he was starting to miss his old family. This was supposed to happen.

Giving up with the calming efforts, we decided to just get some lunch at the food court outside of Walmart. This food court similar to what you might find at any U.S. mall, except for all the restaurants are either Panda Express or Mongolian Grill. And the health department does not show up on a regular basis to make sure everything is clean.
Carina ordered some noodle dish served on a steamer and sat down with a crying Sam Sam still strapped on. Victor and our guide went to get his own food. Sam Sam was not interested in the food. He threw the chopsticks on the floor. Carina didn’t need them anyway seeing as she does not know how to use them well. Unfortunately there were no other utensils, so she sat there and waited for Victor while Sam Sam seemed to get more and more irritated and upset. When Victor and the guide returned, they ate their lunch. Carina just watched them, and wiped Sam Sam’s teary face and blubbery nose from time to time. When Victor finished eating, he took Sam Sam in his arms and walked away.

Carina was finally able to eat. She ate her lengthy noodles with a spoon. Very tricky. Victor returned 10 minutes later with a happy child. Just cooing and smiling. No drama. No tears. Happy to see Mama, who minutes before was the evil one. He had to pee. He really, really had to pee. Victor reported that he peed and peed and peed. Poor little guy. Here we thought he was going through deep emotional turmoil, and it was his bladder that was causing all the pain, not his psyche. Well, that was good to learn. He can hold it! Our apologies go out to our son for making him hold it much longer than he ever thought possible.

Back at the hotel, we were able to get him to put on the boots. They do stay on better, but they do come off as well. Enough so that we find it easier to just leave him in the socks, and carry him around. Carina is counting on her Mr. Fix-it dad to come up with some genius solution to the shoe problem. Of course, we will also take him to the limb differences clinic at UW where they may decide he should get some sort of prosthetic.

The day of the Walmart experience was the day we officially adopted our little son. We had spent the earlier part of the day at the civil affairs office signing various documents, and then received a handshake and a certificate. All done. After Walmart and lunch we went to a notary and signed more stuff so we will be ready to go to the American consulate in Guangzhou and get a visa for him to enter the U.S.

Yesterday we took the fast train to An Yang, the city of Sam Sam’s birth. Sam Sam’s previous name was Xiao Qing An. An being the last name. (An Xiao Qing is the correct order in Chinese). We learned that most babies from the An Yang orphanage have the last name “An.” We were not able to enter the orphanage due to swine flu concerns, but we photographed and videotaped the exterior and the street. Unfortunately our camera was dropped the day before so now it is on the fritz. We took photos with the video camera too, but they aren’t ready for viewing yet.

We met a couple of kids who were headed out to school, and they seemed happy and well adjusted. They recognized Sam Sam who was in the Ergo strapped to Papa. One boy of perhaps 10 or 12 years came up to talk to him, but Sam Sam was not interested in communicating with him. He frowned and hid his face. We’d sure like to know what he was thinking at that moment.

Perhaps, “I hate you. You’re a bully.” Although the kid did not seem like a bully.

Or maybe, “I don’t want anything to do with this place. I have a family now.”

We also went to the New Century Elementary School where Sam Sam was discovered at one week old on September 29th, 2006. When we arrived, it was just after the lunch break, and the kids were streaming in from all directions. The bike lane outside the school was busy with bikes and motor bikes of all kinds. It seemed like a good place to leave a child if your intent were that the child be found quickly.

There were 5 kids with special banners lined up on either side of the gate. Our guide explained that they were “on duty.” Their job is to make sure the kids are properly dressed and behaving well before they can enter the school grounds. They were very curious to see an American family with a cute little Chinese guy hobbling around in boots. Carina went up to shake the hand of one nice girl.

“Nee How” This means “How are you?” and is equivalent to “hello.” (It should not be confused with “Nee-ow” which means “I have to pee.”)

“How are you?” she replied, giggling.
Testing the waters, Carina continued to shake other hands. “How are you?” she asked each one. “fine-sank-yoo” came the automated giggly reply.
We rode the train home, waited 20 minutes in freezing weather in line for a taxi, and Sam Sam fell asleep five minutes away from the hotel.
It is 7am, and we leave at 8:30 for the airport. There’s no time now, but in the next post we will write about our trip to Swallow’s Nest Foster Home here in Zhengzhou. It is a merciful and beautiful work being done by a Christian couple from North Carolina.